While many divorces need the intervention of the courts, it's possible to reach an agreement without attending, known as an out of court divorce. We can help you to reach a fair and sensible agreement with your spouse, which is then made legal and binding by the courts.
Yes, a divorce can be settled out of court. In fact, it is more common for divorces to be settled this way.
While you will always need the court to deal with your divorce, which includes obtaining the conditional order (previously known as the decree nisi) and the final order (previously known as the decree absolute), you do not need to attend court for your divorce.
The same applies to a divorce settlement. If you agree the terms, you can submit your consent order to the court, but you do not need to attend court in person.
What is an 'out of court' divorce?
An 'out of court' divorce is simply one in which you and your spouse negotiate the terms between you without requiring a court hearing or a judge’s ruling, usually with expert legal guidance to make sure that you are both being treated fairly.
Reaching an out of court divorce settlement in the UK is easier when your circumstances make a fair division of assets straightforward. For example, if you have only been married for a few years, earn similar amounts of money and have no children together, it is usually possible to simply split the value of any assets when you go your separate ways.
Naturally, this becomes more difficult if one spouse feels that their financial contribution has been greater, or provision needs to be made for financial support or child arrangements.
However, contested financial proceedings can be lengthy and expensive for both parties. Settling a divorce out of court with the help of experienced divorce lawyers is often better than arguing in court and leaving it to a judge to decide matters for you.
What happens if my financial arrangements go to court?
Only contested financial agreements go through court proceedings. However, most arguments about financial settlement never go to court, largely because your lawyer will often advise you that starting litigation over finances or child arrangements is almost always a 'lose-lose' situation for both parties. It is almost always possible to agree an out of court divorce settlement without the need for fully contested proceedings.
If you have contested financial agreements, this can be traumatic and costly. It can also leave a bad feeling which makes it difficult to continue talking to each other about children after everything has concluded.
An agreed court divorce is always our recommendation, except perhaps in cases where violence is an issue, or where one party is clearly trying to hide assets that should be shared.
In any case, divorce courts require that you have at least attempted to go through a Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting (MIAM) prior to issuing formal court proceedings.
How does the process for out of court divorce work?
The process for an out of court divorce is relatively straightforward, though it is worth keeping in mind that issues such as financial settlement and child arrangements are often unique to an individual family’s circumstances, which mean some negotiations are more complex than others.
Seeking the support and legal guidance of a specialist divorce solicitor from the beginning can be crucial, as they can help you to understand the process, what to expect, and work with you to determine the best strategy moving forward.
To obtain an out of court divorce, you must:
Making the application: if you are applying jointly, you will both be required to submit information in the application to the court. For sole applications, the court will send your spouse (known as the Respondent) the divorce petition and an ‘acknowledgement of service’ (AOS) notification. They must respond to this within 14 days stating whether they agree with the divorce or intend to dispute it. Note that under no-fault divorce legislation, your spouse must have a valid legal reason to raise a dispute; it cannot be disputed because they do not wish to divorce or want to delay the process.
20-week period of reflection: once the application has been made, the 20-week reflection period will begin. During this time, you and your partner should start to work through the practical arrangements of the divorce, such as the division of assets and any necessary child arrangements.
Applying for the conditional order (decree nisi): after the reflection period, the party who applied for the divorce (known as the Applicant) must then apply to the court for a conditional order. If approved, the court will issue a Certificate of Entitlement.
6-week wait period: a second wait period of six weeks between the conditional order and final order will then begin. At this stage, an agreement must be reached between both parties on the division of assets and child arrangements. To make any financial agreements legally binding, a financial consent order will need to be prepared and submitted to the court. They will then review this to ensure it is transparent and fair to both parties.
Applying for the final order (decree absolute): once the wait period has ended, the Applicant can then apply for the final order. If the Applicant has not applied after three months, the Respondent can make the application instead. Once approved, the court will issue the final order within a few days.
It is important to note that while the wait periods are set at a minimum of 20 and six weeks respectively, they can (and often do) last longer than this. These periods are a crucial time to negotiate any financial settlements between you and your spouse and agree any necessary child arrangements.
What are the advantages of an out of court divorce settlement?
For some couples, it may seem easier or even preferred to allow a judge to rule on their divorce settlement rather than attempt negotiations between them – particularly if you are separating on difficult terms – there are many important benefits to settling out of court. This includes:
Lower legal costs: applying to the court to settle a divorce settlement can mean lengthy legal proceedings and court fees.
Better control and flexibility: while negotiations may seem difficult at times, drawing up an agreement with your ex-partner allows you to tailor the solution to you and reach a suitable compromise. A judge may not rule in your favour, and once they’ve reached their decision, you cannot object simply because you don’t agree.
Reduced stress and conflict: court hearings are often incredibly stressful and can put both sides under significant emotional strain, particularly if children are involved.
Reach a settlement faster: court proceedings are lengthy and are likely to be subject to backlogs. Negotiating out of court can mean you reach a solution much faster, allowing both you and your ex-partner to move on positively.
The best solicitors to fight your corner! I struggled with a nasty unmarried couple dispute alone for over a year before biting the bullet and paying for proper legal support. I had one previous experience with a cheaper less well known solicitor and I just felt completely let down and not a priority. But with S&G - from start to finish, I felt supported 100% and valued.
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Why might it be necessary to go to court for a divorce?
Today, court proceedings for a divorce are usually considered a last resort solution. Attending court is usually only necessary when it is not possible for you and your ex-partner to reach an agreement, or if there are specific and complex legal issues that must be dealt with by the court.
Some of the circumstances that can make appearing in court necessary include:
Non-disclosure of assets: this is where one partner refuses to submit a financial disclosure, or omits assets in their disclosure
Alternative Dispute Resolution has failed: this means that mediation has failed, or one party has refused to attempt out of court negotiations
Child safety concerns: if there are concerns about a child’s welfare or safety – for instance, if there are worries a parent may be unable to meet their needs or there has been an allegation of neglect, abuse, or violence – a court hearing will be needed to determine what child arrangements are in the child’s best interests
Why do out of court divorces still need a solicitor?
A divorce can be a complex and lengthy legal process, often involving multiple stages of negotiations to settle important issues such as finances, the division of assets such as property and high-value possession, and child arrangement.
Instructing a divorce lawyer to represent you throughout the process is often crucial to navigating complicated legal issues. Not only can a specialist divorce lawyer provide in-depth legal expertise in divorce law, but they can also ensure your rights are protected at each stage and represent your interests to ensure the best possible outcome for you and your family.
Why choose Slater and Gordon's experienced out of court solicitors?
Even in the most amicable out of court divorces, it can be hard to make sure that the divorce financial settlement is fair to both parties. It often takes a willingness to compromise on both sides, which is when the advice of experienced family lawyers is invaluable.
As one of the UK’s leading law firms in family law, we provide comprehensive and confidential legal advice tailored to individual circumstances on a wide range of family law issues, including divorce, separation, finances, child arrangements, cohabitation disputes and nuptial agreements.
We are ranked in the independent legal directory Chambers and Partners and in the Legal 500, showcasing our dedication to providing outstanding family law services
Many members of our family law team have also been individually recognised in the Legal 500
We are Lexcel accredited, which was introduced by The Law Society as a quality mark for client cases, practice management and legal compliance
We pride ourselves on finding amicable solutions where possible, while ensuring your rights and interests are protected throughout the legal process to achieve the best outcome for you and your family
We’re proud members of Resolution, an organisation of family justice professionals committed to promoting a constructive approach to family issues that considers the needs of the whole family
We have dedicated family offices nationally, including Manchester, Wirral, Liverpool and London, bringing national expertise to your doorstep.
We are an award-winning law firm and have a dedicated team of family solicitors to advise and guide you – no matter how complex your situation may be.
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Yes, in most cases, it is better to reach a settlement with your ex-partner out of court. This is because negotiating out of court is often cheaper, faster, and more flexible than going through the courts.
Working together constructively with your ex-partner during mediation and negotiation allows you to reach a settlement that is tailored to your circumstances and family, giving you a greater amount of control over what comes next.
A settling a divorce in court works differently. It is often a lengthy and costly process, involving multiple hearings before a judge who will decide the ‘fairest and most equal’ way forward. It is important to note that once a judge has made a ruling, it is legally binding, and an appeal can only be made in limited legal grounds, not simply because you disagree.
It is therefore strongly recommended that you attempt to settle your divorce out of court. A specialist divorce solicitor can work with you to help you understand how the process works and what the best way forward may be.
Do I have to speak to my ex-partner in an out of court divorce?
You do not necessarily have to speak to your ex-partner directly to reach a settlement in an out of court divorce.
There are methods that can be used to minimise or even prevent the need for direct communication, including allowing your divorce solicitor to negotiate with your ex and their legal representative on your behalf and a type of mediation known as ‘shuttle’ mediation. This involves you and your ex sitting in separate rooms and a mediator moving back and forth between you to facilitate negotiation.
If you are thinking about applying for a divorce and are worried about how to handle communication with your ex-partner, we’re here to help. Speak to our friendly divorce specialist on 0330 041 5869 or get in touch online to request a call back, and we’ll work with you to find the best way forward.
What is alternate dispute resolution?
Alternative Dispute Resolution (ADR) is a term used to refer to various methods of reaching an agreement amicably and efficiently. For divorce, this includes:
Mediation: A specially trained mediator acts as a third party to help separating couples negotiate fairly and amicably. An agreement reached through mediation is not legally-binding, though you can apply to the court for a consent order to make it so.
Negotiation: A separating couple agree to negotiate a settlement between them, often with the support of their divorce solicitors. This can be quite informal, or it can be done in a more structured setting.
Collaborative law: Both parties must be represented by a collaboratively trained divorce solicitor and commit to reaching an agreement without going to court. The process can also involve support from additional specialists, including financial advisors or child specialists.
Arbitration: An independent third-party arbitrator is appointed to listen to both sides and reach a decision for you. This decision is legally binding to both parties.
Do most divorces settle out of court?
Yes, the vast majority of divorces are settled out of court in the UK. Separating couples are actively encouraged to reach an agreement without the court’s intervention, and you must often be able to prove that you and your ex-partner at least attempted mediation before you are allowed to request the court get involved.
Litigation in court is considered a ‘last resort’ for divorce in the UK and is usually only necessary in specific circumstances.
Do I have to appear in court for an uncontested divorce?
You will only ever have to appear in court for a divorce if alternative methods of reaching an agreement have failed, or if there are concerns about safety.
What’s more, since the introduction of no-fault divorce on 6 April 2022, it is no longer possible to contest a divorce in England and Wales. You can challenge an application for a divorce, but there are very limited grounds on which to do so, such as a lack of court jurisdiction or that the marriage was never valid in the first place.
What is an uncontested divorce?
An uncontested divorce refers to a divorce in which both spouses agree that the marriage is over, and they have been able to reach an agreement on issues such as the division of financial assets and child arrangements without the need for court proceedings.
However, since the introduction of no-fault divorce on 6 April 2022, it is no longer possible to contest a divorce in England and Wales. You can challenge an application for a divorce, but there are very limited grounds on which to do so, such as a lack of court jurisdiction or that the marriage was never valid in the first place.
The best solicitors to fight your corner! I struggled with a nasty unmarried couple dispute alone for over a year before biting the bullet and paying for proper legal support. I had one previous experience with a cheaper less well known solicitor and I just felt completely let down and not a priority. But with S&G - from start to finish, I felt supported 100% and valued. B L (family and personal matters case)